


If You'll Have Me

by BlueRoseBlaze



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Eventual Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Multi, NSFW, No beta reader, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Romance, Self-Esteem Issues, Suicide Attempt, Threesome, Threesome - F/F/M, poly!relationship, suicide ideation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:27:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28672248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueRoseBlaze/pseuds/BlueRoseBlaze
Summary: You couldn’t believe it. After so long. So many years of wanting and pushing your feelings down for their sake. So many years of loneliness holding out for this exact moment, no matter how impossible it previously seemed. So long just wanting to be held by them, touched, kissed, and loved by them the way they do each other. This was really happening.
Relationships: Kyrie (Devil May Cry)/Reader, Kyrie/Nero (Devil May Cry), Kyrie/Nero (Devil May Cry)/Reader, Nero (Devil May Cry)/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

The tinkering of metal harmonized with the soft music of the radio as you and Nero continued inspecting the van. Nico had long since gone home, saddling the two of you with the rest of the work. You didn’t mind though, any time you could spend with Nero was time well spent, even while doing menial labor.

“You okay?” Nero asked as he rolled out from underneath the massive vehicle, “You seem quiet.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” you replied, “Just zoning out.”

Nero nodded, not pressing the issue any further. He stood from the roller seat and discarded the tools in his hand. He walked over to the sink in the corner, using the hem of his tank top to wipe away the sweat from his brow. You couldn’t keep yourself from catching a glimpse of his toned stomach as he did. But you quickly snapped yourself out of it.

 _Bad look,_ you thought, _He’s with Kyrie._

“See something you like?” Nero teased from the other side of the garage, not even turning around to face you.

You clammed up and froze. Had you been so obvious? You continued staring at him, a guilty blush creeping up your face, exasperated by his turning his head and shooting you’re a snarky wink. You snapped your head away from his direction as he continued cleaning up.

You couldn’t escape the awkward silence, even the radio did little to ease your anxiety. Until an angel’s voice broke through the air.

“Nero! (Y/N)! Dinner’s almost ready!”

“We’ll be right there!” the young devil hunter called back. He turned to you from the sink, his expression as if the previous exchange never happened, yet there was a knowing glint in his crisp blue eyes.

“You staying?” he asked.

“Of course,” you replied with a smile, “If you’ll have me.”

“Always.”

You started to freshen up yourself hocking your tools onto the nearest surface and making way for the door. Nero stayed behind to finish tidying up and encouraged you to go on ahead. You stole one last look before making your way into the house.

The warm, welcoming aroma of Kyrie’s food wafted through the house, carrying you towards the kitchen. Your empty stomach growled the closer you got to the source. Turning the corner, you took a big breath in, exaggerating your reaction only a little to alert her to your presence.

“Hungry?” she asked in the songbird voice of hers.

“You know it,” you replied, “Nero will be in in a minute, he’s finishing up out there.”

“Well in that case you want to help me finish and set the table?”

With little more than a nod you trotted over to the cabinet and pulled down the plates, cradling them in one arm as you searched the drawers for silverware. Hands full, you stepped into the dining room. You stole a look over your shoulder back towards the kitchen, listening to Kyrie humming a pleasant tune. You felt a smile stretch across your face, not realizing you had been stock still the whole time, not until a gentle hand rested on your shoulder and Kyrie’s voice cut through your haze.

“(Y/N)? Are you alright?” she asked.

You nearly dropped everything in your arms as your heart skipped a beat. Your eyes met hers and you noted her concerned expression.

“I-I’m fine,” you said, “Just lost in thought.”

“You've been doing that a lot lately.”

“Yeah, there’s just been a lot on my mind. But I’m fine, promise!” you reassured her.

She looked rather incredulously at you before removing her hand from your shoulder. Her hand lingered on you for a moment, her fingers feather-light as she reluctantly pulled away. You took in a deep breath and resumed setting the table, cursing yourself for getting so distracted.

You sighed defeatedly. There’s no point in letting yourself get hurt like this. They are happy together; they’ve been happy together. There’s no room for you. They only have you around because you’re a close friend, nothing more.

You felt tears prick at your eyes as you set the last plate down. You’d been getting careless. The wanton glances and lingering stares would get you in trouble soon enough, no matter how nonchalant they seem when you got caught. You suspected they suspected you. And you couldn’t help the anger at yourself that rose in your chest. Luckily, your back was till turned to Kyrie, and you quickly pranced to the bathroom once the last piece of table wear was set. You locked the door and supported yourself against the counter, staring at the flushed mess that was your face.

Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Hanging around, savoring every passing glance or soft touch, no matter the context. You had to be some kind of desperate masochist. This couldn’t go on; you would only be hurting yourself and being a burden on them. This should be the last time you let yourself feel like this. Do everyone a favor and cut yourself out. Make this last time enjoyable, then dial it back.

You gasped at the knock on the other side of the door. You quickly composed yourself and let out a sound of acknowledgment.

“You okay in there,” Nero’s voice was muffled on the other side.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just finishing washing up,” you lied.

“Ok don’t rush yourself we won’t eat without you,” he said.

“Don’t worry about me help yourselves.”

There was silence after that indicating he had left. Thank god, you thought, another confrontation dodged. You worked quickly, running the cool water from the faucet, and pressing a damp towel to your face to relieve the redness in your eyes. This wasn’t the first time you had been driven to tears by your near addiction to your friends, but it was the first time you were so close to getting caught. There’s no good explanation if they had caught a glimpse of your distraught face. No allergies, no bullshit reminder of some stupid thing that made you sad. If you had gotten caught there was no way you would be able to talk yourself out of it. At least not without revealing to them that you were obviously lying to their faces.

Besides, how are you supposed to explain this to your friends, your friends that you have known since childhood, your friends that you followed to the mainland from the tiny island you all grew up on, your friends that have been together for years? How are you supposed to explain to them that you’ve been in love with both of them for so long? You can’t.

This has to end. You can’t keep letting yourself hurt like this. Why can’t you just let yourself stop hurting?

After a few more minutes you were presentable, a slightly bluish still permeating your face but nothing to give away the tears that flowed down your cheeks just moments before. You looked into the mirror and sighed before opening the bathroom door.

You walked into the dining room, surprised that dinner hadn’t been touched yet despite both Nero and Kyrie sitting there, plates empty.

“Did you wait for me?” you asked.

“Of course, we did,” Kyrie exclaimed with a smile.

“Why wouldn’t we wait for you?” Nero asked, slouched in his chair with his arm hanging off the back.

You gave them a smile that expressed both gratitude and annoyance, “But I said not to I don’t want it to get cold while you wait for me.”

Nero chastised you playfully before demanding you sit down.

Dinner was great like it always was. Kyrie’s cooking could not be beaten. It was a banquette of roast beef, potatoes, and mixed vegetables, enough to feed a small army. Or a hungry Nero. You also knew she made enough for you to take plenty home with you when you left. So thoughtful of her.

“And then I punched that ugly bastard right off the side of the bridge and timed how long it took until we heard it splash,” Nero chuckled, “Those army guys were certainly impressed.”

“You’re still not used to all the praise are you?” Kyrie inquired.

The evening was filled with chatter, laughter --mostly at Nero’s expense—and just general pleasantries. You swear you could listen to either of them talk about anything for hours and enjoy every minute of it. Nero’s improvements in his weaponry and his increased proficiency with his Devil Trigger form. Or Kyrie’s new craft project she’s begging you to try with her because she thinks you’d be great at it. You hung on every word. You wanted to savor this because you knew this would be the last time you could indulge in such away. This had to be it, to save both yourself and your relationship with them. Sure, they would ask questions about your increased absence and why you suddenly started turning down their invitations, but it would be healthier in the long run.

Even after everyone was full, you all still sat around the table as the food got cold just talking, laughing, enjoying each other’s company. Kyrie even brought out a bottle of wine. Despite none of you really drinking that often the evening was filled with an air of “why not?”. Both you and Nero sneered jokingly into your glasses, wine was always more Kyrie’s anyway, but you sucked it up and indulged in the bitter juice.

The bottle was half empty by the time it was agreed to bring the evening to a pause. You didn’t need to be tipsy on your way home, you reasoned. But you did stay to help clean up the dishes and put away leftovers. Kyrie tried to help but You and Nero refused, she cooked, so you cleaned. That’s how these things worked.

Now here you were standing shoulder to shoulder with the snowy-haired devil hunter. You washing, him drying. You glanced over, noticing him taking an excruciatingly long time drying off each dish or pot you handed him. He didn’t look at you and seemed lost in thought like he was contemplating something, but you chose not to ask.

That ache in your chest was starting to grow again, starting with the swell of admiration and want for his closeness but only to be poisoned by your conscious screaming at you. Asking who you thought you were to catch feelings for two people already so committed to each other. An emotional vampire, a parasite feeding off the happiness of your friends’ relationship. What kind of homewrecker were you to even think about feeling this way?

You bit your lip, trying not to feel the burn behind your eyes as you gradually reached your limit again. You focused on your task, hoping that focusing on your hands only will distract you. You didn’t notice Nero look over his shoulder, or Kyrie approach you from behind. Despite your focus on your hands, you felt the atmosphere change. You slowly lowered the soapy dish into the water and turned your head to meet the gaze of your friends.

Kyrie stood a few feet from you and Nero. You could see the nervous look on her face as she played with her fingers, barely keeping eye contact with you. She shifted her eyes between you and Nero as Nero leaned against the counter, crossing his arms securely over his chest.

Your heart rate spiked, panic running through your body.

 _Oh god_ , you thought, _this is it. They found you out. They know how you feel and now they’re going to kick you out. Who could blame them? Who would want to keep a desperate lonely leech like you around? They were just being nice to you so they wouldn’t hurt your feelings but now they’ve had enough. Now they’re done with you. They’re going to tell you to leave and never come back._

The voice in your head continued to berate you with scenario after scenario of them letting you down easy, screaming at you, throwing you out onto the street. This didn’t help you with trying to keep a new reservoir of tears from brewing behind your eyes that they will notice any minute now. _Keep it together…_

“(Y/N),” Kyrie started in her beautiful melodic voice, “Nero and I want to talk to you about something.”

You swallowed a lump in your throat, “What is it? Is everything ok?” you asked.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Nero started, “We just have sort of a… proposal, for you.”

“Okay…?” You crossed your own arms over yourself protectively.

Nero moved so that he and Kyrie were both facing you and you would much rather be facing down a firing squad at this point.

Kyrie started again, “We’ve all known each other for a very long time, and you’re our best friend. You’re so smart and funny and kind. We don’t know what we would do without you around. We love spending time with you, and we always hate to see you leave.”

_She’s just buttering you up to make this less painful… Or maybe? Maybe she’s softening you up to make it hurt that much more to get you to stay away._

It was at this point that Nero spoke up, “We can always talk to you about anything we’re dealing with and you’re always there for us. You never judged me when you found out about me being part demon. You were there when I lost my arm and when I found out about my father.”

“When we lost Credo,” Kyrie added sullenly, “You’re basically family to us we’re so close, and we love you. I know we say it a lot but I don’t think it shows how we really feel.”

You remained silent, taking in their words that warmed your heart but still left you anxious. Where was this going, really? It was true though, you were always there for them when they needed help because that’s what friends do. You know they would always do the exact same for you. Like when Kyrie brings you hot soup and beverages when you’re sick, or when Nero patches you up if you get too close to a demon. That’s just what friends do for each other.

“When we say we love you,” Nero said, “We mean it. And not in like a family way… we…”

Kyrie took over, “We wanted to ask you if you would like to join us.”

Your eyes widened and your mouth fell agape just slightly. This couldn’t be real. They can’t be asking what you think they’re asking. _They probably just joined a new mainland church or they need an extra person to take care of the kids at the orphanage. There’s no way that they…_

“Join you?” you repeated.

“We want you to be a part of our relationship, so it would be the three of us instead of just me and Kyrie.”

You dropped your gaze, looking down and shaking your head in disbelief. They were really asking. You couldn’t believe it, this had to be a dream. One you would wake up from any moment alone in your own bed at home.

“If you’re not interested we get it,” Nero said seeing your look of disbelief. Hopefully, he didn’t think it was offense. “We don’t want to force you into anything we just need to get our feelings out there.”

“Kyrie you…” you began struggling to express your thoughts, “I didn’t know that you were…”

“It’s never something I ever really explored but I always felt deep down, especially for you. Nero and I did a lot of talking and we found out we both feel the same way for you that we do for each other. There’s just something there that we couldn’t ignore any longer. So, if you want to give it a try, we would want nothing more.”

“Whoa, (Y/N) are you okay!” Nero exclaimed.

It was then you noticed that your dam had burst and the tears were freely falling down your cheeks. You stood there shaking with quiet sobs as you lowered your head and brought your hands to your face to cover your reddened eyes. You panted and hiccupped behind your hands until you felt another pair, warm and gentle wrap around your wrists, gingerly coaxing you to reveal your face. You sniffled as you met Kyrie’s worried amber eyes.

“We’re so sorry. We won’t bring it up again, I promise. Please don’t cry,” she begged.

“It’s n-not…t-that,” you sputtered, “I pro-omise…”

They were both silent as Kyrie still held your shaky hands in her own while Nero stepped aside to grab something to dry your tears with. Kyrie quietly shushed you encouraging you to calm down so you could speak clearly. You began to focus on your breathing, slow quivering breaths in and out in a broken rhythm.

You couldn’t believe it. After so long. So many years of wanting and pushing your feelings down for their sake. So many years of loneliness holding out for this exact moment, no matter how impossible it previously seemed. So long just wanting to be held by them, touched, kissed, and loved by them the way they do each other. This was really happening. 

Soon Nero returned with a bundle of tissues, handing them to you without a word but a very concerned face. It was still a few more minutes to calm yourself before you could speak.

“You…” you started dabbing your eyes as you went, “You have no idea how long… how long I’ve felt the same way. I just didn’t want to say anything because… because I didn’t want to ruin what we had. I… I didn’t want to just wedge myself in and risk ruining everything… so I k-kept quiet about how I felt.”

You sighed deeply as you calmed down more and more.

“I always had a feeling. I didn’t ask because… I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or scare you off. So, I just always teased you about being in love with me,” he chuckled, “I was too scared to come out with it myself. So, I just hoped you would do it for me.”

Kyrie, still standing very close to you, reached out her hand, softly rubbing your shoulder to help calm you faster. She smiled sweetly at you, that same smile you had seen so many times and locked away in your inner vault to cherish when she wasn’t around, like the selfish little love gremlin you were.

“So,” she began, “What do you think? You don’t have to answer right away if you don’t want to.”

You smiled at her, eyes still red and puffy but so much happier than you were before. You took Kyrie’s hands into yours Interlocking your fingers with her, sighing with the warmth of her skin.

“I want to, I really do. So yes… if you’ll have me.”

Both of them smiled at you, Kyrie bouncing with excitement as you wiped away the last of your tears. Nero came forward, wrapping his strong arms around both of you. You buried your face in his shoulder, inhaling his comforting scent before pulling away from him, hand still locked in Kyrie’s. You looked to her and saw the rosy blush spreading over her freckled cheeks.

She looked away from you bashfully before asking, “(Y/N), may I kiss you?”

You blinked wide-eyed at her and felt your own cheeks heat up again, this time not from crying. You meekly nodded and stood still as she leaned in, pressing her lips to yours. They were the softest thing you had ever felt like rose petals that had been sitting on a sunny windowsill in summer. Lips slightly parted so they would fit perfectly with hers you felt the heat radiating off her skin. In the end, it was chaste, she pulled away with a quiet smack of your parting. You had little experience with kissing but this one sent sparks through your whole body you had never felt before.

You were both silent after the fact, sparing each other bashful glances until Nero stepped forward, scratching at his nose in embarrassment like he’s one to do. He was uncharacteristically quiet but very characteristically shy as he placed a light hand on your shoulder. He leaned in slowly, silently asking for permission to join in. You granted it without a word, only closing the distance between you.

His lips weren’t as full or soft as Kyrie’s, but they were still softer than you had expected. You took a breath through your nose as your lips began to work against his. It felt so right, still riding the high after kissing Kyrie now Nero, your head was spinning in all directions.

Nero was the one to pull away first, and for a brief moment, you followed him, wanting more. But you stopped, you couldn’t be so greedy. Your skin tingled as Nero let his hand fall from it, his calloused fingertips lingering on your skin as he went. You could feel the goosebumps rising in the exact patterns as his touch.

“It’s getting late,” Nero said, his voice huskier than it was before, “We don’t have to do anything more tonight.”

“You’re right,” you said, your arm returning to their position securely across your chest, “I-I think that we should talk about this more later.”

“Do you want to spend the night?” Kyrie asked, “You still have some things here.”

It wasn’t uncommon for you to spend the night at their place when the night got away from you and it was too late and too much of a hassle to walk home. So naturally, after some time you had accumulated a small wardrobe that you just left here for such an occasion. And sweetest Kyrie, had them all clean folded in a canvas box neatly tucked away in the linen closet.

“Thank you I would but, I think maybe it would be best if I went home for tonight, process everything.”

There’s no way you would be able to sleep tonight if you were here, especially after all of this. Your mind was still racing with adrenaline, excitement, and anxiety. Those kisses gave you enough dopamine to last you a long while, you’ll still be feeling their lips on yours when you’re trying to sleep tonight.

“I understand,” Kyrie said with a content smile, “But please come over for breakfast tomorrow so we can talk things over more.”

“I will that sounds great,” you agreed, “It is getting late if I leave now it shouldn’t take me too long.”

“I’ll walk you home,” Nero offered. Ever the gentleman as he led you to the door, you both sparing a quick goodnight to Kyrie.


	2. Chapter 2

It had to have been the best night’s sleep you have ever had. Your head felt so clear when you woke up. Bright and early to not keep Nero and Kyrie waiting. Just as you thought you could still feel the lingering feeling of both their lips on yours and the mere thought of it sent pleasant shivers down your spine.

You thought back to last night and your walk home with Nero. It was surprisingly comfortable. After you were out the door you two agreed to save any chat about your new relationship dynamic for the next day so that Kyrie could be present for it. And you went on as if nothing of what happened in the kitchen prior happened at all. It was so oddly familiar and comfortable, almost concerningly so, to still be so friendly with him, so normal even with this new situation hanging over the both of you.

You had never gotten ready so fast in your whole life. Showered, dressed, and out the door in a matter of minutes almost sprinting on your empty stomach down the block, passing shops and apartment buildings into the nicer part of Redgrave. You didn’t stop until you were up the stairs of the brick townhouse and knocking on the front door. You slowed your breathing to not make it obvious that you had just run all the way there in your excitement.

Kyrie answered the door, and she beamed when she saw you. The morning sun casting down on her beautiful, freckled face, her auburn hair in a loose braid with her bangs framing her face, bouncing as she walked and just barely kissing the sides of her skin.

She wasted no time pulling you into a long hug and lead you by the hand inside. You could already smell breakfast as soon as the door opened but now there was nothing in your nose besides the smell of cooking eggs, meat, and toast. And that little hint of coffee or tea that mixed in as well.

At the dining table Nero was already sat nursing a mug of coffee, no doubt drowned in sugar and creamer as he never liked overly bitter flavors, as he listened to the music drifting from the speakers. He looked to you and smiled and then looked to Kyrie who went back to tending the stove. This image before you. This domestic bliss that these two were in, and the idea that you could be a part of it. After all these years of longing, this was finally bout to be yours, with your two favorite people.

You sat down and helped yourself and almost moaned at the utter deliciousness. The bacon crispy but not burnt, the eggs just the right amount of moist and the orange juice that there was no way wasn’t fresh-squeezed. Kyrie was a godsent chef and you would not be convinced otherwise.

The small talk was brief before you all cut to the chase about what you needed to discuss.

“So where do we start,” you asked as you patted your mouth with a napkin.

“Well Nero and I were talking last night,” Kyrie started.

You felt your heart jump, a sudden fear replacing the happiness you had felt before. _Did they change their minds? Did they realize this couldn’t work? Did they just want to experiment and then realized this wasn’t for them?_

“Now that our feelings are out there there’s no point in courting anybody,” Nero said as he sipped his coffee.

“Yeah we aren’t exactly starting from square one,” you mused with a false mask of light humor.

“So now it’s just a matter of moving forward and making things more… official I guess,” Kyrie stated, “We just need to keep going now that everything is out in the open.”

“So, like… dates and stuff,” you asked chomping on a piece of toast.

“Yeah that’s what I was thinking,” said Kyrie excitedly, “Since we all know each other so well already, being friends most of our lives, we don’t have to figure out what we like and don’t like. But I think it would be nice to get us used to doing things together instead of just friends.”

You hummed in acknowledgment as a slideshow of scenarios passed through your mind. Things that you had done with them before, like movies, walks in the park, going out for food, but now with a whole new context. It excited you.

Your friends never let you feel left out when you accompanied them on little adventures. However, you could never shirk the feeling of being an outsider. Their subtle romantic gestures never went unnoticed by you. The stolen glances, chaste kisses, and hand-holding. It did make you feel left out, but you would walk into oncoming traffic before admitting that or let it get in the way of your friendship and their relationship.

So, you did what you did best, pushed all those feelings down until it festered into an inescapable and ever-growing sense of self-loathing.

But now things were different. You were no longer the outsider looking in. They invited you in, door wide open for you. This was the opportunity you had dreamed of but never imagined would come true. Now there was a beacon of light and hope to neutralize that self-loathing within you.

Kyrie took a small sip of her tea, letting everyone at the table have a chance to voice their opinion.

“It is going to take some getting used to,” Nero said as he leaned back in his chair in that typical cool guy fashion, “Even though our feelings are out in the open, it’ll take a while to go from being friends to being, well whatever you want to call us now… a three-way?”

Kyrie choked on her tea, “Nero! No, that is not the right word.”

“What about throuple?” you suggested.

“Too kitschy,” Nero remarked.

“It doesn’t matter right now,” Kyrie declared slightly annoyed, “I don’t think we need to put a label on it right away. Like you said Nero, it’s going to take some getting used to. I didn’t even accept that I…”

She paused as an embarrassed redness crept up her neck.

“…That I could be attracted to women until recently… I’m still wrapping my head around that.”

Poor Kyrie. While you had all grown up under the thumb of the order while living on Fortuna, you and Nero had always been outsiders to the cult of Sparda. They never messed with you unless you caused noticeable trouble, you always had each other to bounce off when the rest of the followers were too stuffy and up their own asses to give you the time of day.

But Kyrie, she was the one on the inside, always having to keep up appearances, having a brother in one of the higher positions of authority, she was a devout follower of Sanctus and Sparda. If anything about her went against the norm, any thought, any action, she had to hide it well. Her and Credo taking you and Nero in, on top of that her and Nero’s relationship already earned her family stares of disapproval. They narrowly avoided any direct action from the order by making it seem that they were just taking in some poor lost souls in the hopes of showing them the light and love of their god.

How could someone possibly discover or explore themselves while under that kind of pressure? But unlike those on Fortuna, Kyrie never had a drop of contempt in her. Her compassion was real, her devotion to the wellbeing of others was genuine. It’s one of the many things you loved about her, even when revealing secrets you were ashamed of, things you thought would drive both of them away, she never considered it for a second.

It was the first spark you felt towards them, the first inkling of something that wasn’t strictly platonic. You had come out to Nero first, back when you were teenagers, admitting to him alone on the docks that you were attracted to boys and girls, and he accepted you with open arms and swore to protect you from anyone who would even think to challenge you about it. Having him by your side made it easier to come out to Kyrie, who also accepted you and took all the shame and fear away.

“I know it’s hard to come to terms with yourself about that,” you said, “And it’s even harder to come out about it, even to people that you trust. Trust me I know.”

She looked at you with a sense of understanding in her warm brown eyes.

The rest of breakfast was beautifully comfortable. General conversation, humor, discussion of potential date ideas all over Kyrie’s delicious cooking. By the end of it, you were all full and ready to continue your day. Nero, ever the gentleman, took your dishes to the kitchen.

“If I may make a suggestion,” Nero said as he came back out of the kitchen, “Maybe we all go out and walk around town, go to the park and then grab some lunch later? Keep things simple?”

“I’d like that,” you said smiling up at him.

“Me too,” Kyrie said.

It didn’t feel any different from an average day hanging out with them. It was a common occurrence for you and Kyrie to enjoy some window shopping or a stroll through the park and just dragging Nero along while he endured your girl talk in silence. Kyrie made the bold move and linked her arm with yours as you walked. Nero, trailed next to you, hands deep in his pockets. Even with just Kyrie, he wasn’t one of public displays of affection. Much too shy, as adorable as he was. Despite the obvious shift in context, it was easy to just enjoy their company like you had in the past but now with a familiar crushing weight in your chest thankfully missing.

Those nagging voices in your head were fortunately absent. You could revel in the silence in your mind while you humored Kyrie in pleasant and conversation. She kept talking about how excited she was to have you with her and Nero, and how excited Nero was too and just won’t say it out loud.

Nero scoffed as he cutely scratched his nose.

“You know if you ever get sick of me don’t hesitate to dump my whiny ass,” you teased.

Nero stopped walking, as well as Kyrie as she lightly smacked your arm.

“Don’t say that,” Nero said.

“Yeah, we would never get sick of you,” Kyrie added.

“I’m just teasing,” you chuckled in irony, “But seriously if I make things too difficult don’t feel like you have to keep me around.”

Nero hushed you with a hand on your shoulder. Telling you to stop talking like that and if they were that worried about things being too difficult they wouldn’t have even begged the question. You grinned up at him and continued down the path with Kyrie.

“You’re too hard on yourself,” Nero chided as he continued walking.

He walked ahead of you now and Kyrie took the opportunity to lean in close to you and reinforce what Nero said.

“He’s right. We’re just going to take this one step at a time. We’re still testing the waters. Even if it does become difficult don’t think it’ll only be your fault. We’re all in this together.”

You smiled down at your feet, feeling your cheeks heat up as her arm constricted around yours a little more.

“Thanks, Kyrie,” you said.

You still felt their friendship. For so long the line between platonic and romantic love had been blurred before you eventually accepted your feelings and almost resigned yourself to loneliness. But that would never erase the trust and comradery your relationship with them was built on. Years and years of close friendship that bordered on family.

The three of you went about your day and it was one of the most pleasant days of your life. No demon attacks, no emergencies, just you and your two favorite people enjoying each other’s company with a newfound sense of partnerdom. You ended up losing track of time and it was already twilight by the time you decided to go home.

Nero, by now stood between you and Kyrie, a strong arm wrapped around each of you. The darker it got, the more he insisted you both stay close to him until you were safely inside. You three had walked fairly deep into town so you still had a way to go before you were back at the townhouse.

You couldn’t help yourself as you snuggled into Nero’s side, getting a quick whiff of his cologne as you walked, chatting about something you couldn’t remember. Nero’s scent always put you in a calmer mood, whether you got a whiff as he walked by, or when you lingered just a bit longer in a hug. Before, it seemed like an obsessive almost stalker-like. But now you found an even greater sense of comfort in it. You could look back on those times and remember when he too wouldn’t pull out of a hug right away. Or when he would change trajectory in his movements to get closer, and then smirk at you when you would comment on it. You used to think it was just playful teasing, or him using you to test out something new before presenting it to Kyrie. Hindsight is twenty-twenty.

You could barely even pay attention to the conversation at hand. So lost in the physical contact and the sounds of their voices, as well as the fluffy, cloud nine feelings in your head and chest. You almost face-planted onto concrete when you forgot about the stone steps in front of their house. Fortunately, Nero caught you before you could hurt yourself and the three of you chuckled at your clumsiness.

“It’s really late,” Kyrie said as you walked through the front door, “Do you want to spend the night?”

You paused, mulling it over. You really, _really_ wanted to, and you had before so what was the big deal? You couldn’t deny how badly you wanted to sleepover last night, it took everything you had not to jump at the chance, even if you would just be sleeping on the couch or the guest room. But you knew with how chaotic your emotions and brain were you would never have slept a wink. Even still, you desperately wanted to.

“Yeah, sure,” you said after another pause, “I’d love to.”

Kyrie almost started jumping in place, a huge smile stretching across her features as she grabbed your hand and dragged you deeper into the house, stranding Nero alone in the foyer

“I know its been a while since you spent the night so I made sure to freshen up your clothes,” Kyrie said as she leads you to the linen closet, pulling open the door and sliding out the canvas box with all your clothes and a few extra things on top.

“I don’t remember leaving toiletries here,” you said incredulously.

“I know,” Kyrie said with a grin, “I got them for you so the next time you stayed over you’d have some.”

_This woman’s kindness is going to be the death of you…_

“You didn’t have to do that, Kyrie,” you told her, a barely recognizable scolding tone in your voice.

All she did was giggle and told you not to worry about it as she left you to your privacy.

You sat on the bed in the guest bedroom, brushing out your dried hair, soft warm pajamas hugging you. Your skin still tingled from the hot shower you took. But nothing could ease the fast pace of your heartbeat. Everything was different now, everything you said to them, everything they said to you. Everything you did together had a whole new context. One that would be hard to step away from if things ever went south.

_If you mess this up how will you ever be able to face them again?_

No! You can’t think like that. Not anymore. You had two beautiful loving partners now, you wouldn’t mess this up, this is everything you ever wanted.

You were distracted by your thoughts when the bedroom door creaked open. Kyrie popped her head in the frame asking permission to enter before opening the door further. She was dressed in her robe, and her auburn hair was out of its normal updo, cascading down her shoulders. You motioned for her to sit on the bed with you.

“I wanted to come in and say goodnight,” she started, “and maybe talk for a bit, just us girls.”

“Of course,” you said smiling.

“It has been… difficult lately for me to come to terms with how I feel, sexually that is. I was so worried that I was betraying Nero, it took a lot of talking to figure everything out.”

You hung on her every word, listening intently.

“I bet. I’ve been there before, and I don’t know what I would have done if you and Nero hadn’t accepted me when I came out to you. I know that you can feel totally alone when you’re dealing with these feelings and you don’t know if the people around you will accept you or not. That’s how Nero felt when he was coming to grips with being part demon. We’ve all been there in one way or another.”

She hummed in agreement. Her hand finding yours and taking it, her thumb gently running across the back of it, you felt your cheeks grow warm again.

“I want you to know that it wouldn’t have been anyone else,” she said, “We wouldn’t have asked anyone else to do this with us. We trust you and we love you.”

She huffed a quiet laugh.

“The way I felt about possibly betraying Nero, that’s how he felt when we brought up the idea of being polyamorous in the first place. He told me how attracted he was to you, and how much he cared for and loved you. He was terrified of being unfaithful. And we came to the conclusion that the only real solution was to not hide it anymore.”

The only light in the room was a warm lamp on the nightstand, and the way it illuminated Kyrie’s face in the soft glow was nothing short of angelic. You could easily lose yourself in just looking at her. You remembered all the times you went home at night, alone in your bed, thinking about how it would feel to be held by her. Skin to skin with no clothes in the way, how her lips would feel against yours and your body. You couldn’t stop yourself from getting hot and bothered, nor could you stop the wave of self-disgust and guilt that would brew after coming down from that high.

“I don’t think I properly expressed just how happy I was that you asked me. I had felt the same way about you and Nero for so long. So long it hurt. I didn’t just want what you guys had I wanted to be a part of it. I felt like a sad squeaky third wheel. It’s pathetic really,” you said with a chuckle.

“Don’t say that,” Kyrie scolded, “Love and attraction are very strong things. If that’s how you truly felt I’m sorry we didn’t realize it sooner. If you felt so strongly about it for so long I can’t imagine how much that must have hurt.”

You smiled and sighed at her concern, before assuring her there was no need for her to apologize. That emotions and the way people choose to express them to themselves and others were unpredictable and often barely made sense in the moment. How could she have possibly known when you went to such lengths to hide it for them?

“I had been in love with you and Nero since we were young, even back on Fortuna,” you confessed, “You two were just so great, and you had something beautiful. After you got together I knew that coming out with how I felt wouldn’t have worked, there’s no way I could have thrown a wrench into your relationship like that. So… If I didn’t say anything I could still keep you around as friends, even if it hurt to be on the outside.”

Kyrie was silent for a moment, mulling over what you said. Her expression was almost unreadable but deep in contemplation. She looked down at her hand, still cradling yours.

“But that’s in the past,” she said, looking deep into your eyes, “We’re all together now. And your just as much a part of this as we are. Even if it does take some getting used to.”

You smiled at her and adjusted your hand so that your fingers could interlock with hers.

“Oh, and by the way, you don’t have to if you’re not comfortable with it but our bed is always open. So if you want some company while you sleep or just want to cuddle, or if you want us to be with you in here then all you have to do is…”

You silenced her with a kiss to the cheek, causing hers to erupt in a rosy dusting as she touched the spot where your lips landed.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it,” you giggled, “But I don’t want to intrude, maybe after a little while.”

She nodded and wished you goodnight before standing from the bed, her hand lingering in yours for just a moment before she let go and left, softly closing the door behind her. You dramatically flopped your body onto the mattress and pillows wondering again how you could possibly sleep now.


	3. Chapter 3

“So…” Nico started as she huffed on her cigarette, “Throuple, huh?”

“God with that stupid word again?,” Nero responded rather defensively, “ And yeah. What about it?”

“Nothing, I’m just surprised you get any pussy at all let alone two,” the mechanic said with a cheeky smirk.

Nero scoffed but didn’t dignify her with an answer as he removed his feet from the dashboard, staring out into the street where you stood.

You walked ahead of them while the van barely rolled forward following you. It wasn’t uncommon for you to accompany Nero and Nico on their missions. You didn’t fight at all due to Nero’s insistence that you remain in the van at all times unless he was with you and there were no demons around. But that didn’t mean Nico didn’t put you to work whenever the action died down and it was safe for you to be out without Nero by your side. Often she just had you collecting demon parts and shrapnel for her next project while Nero rested up. It also wasn’t unheard of that you patch him up if the demons got just a little too rough with him. you tried coming on missions as often as you could. It was a great way to get out of your own head and anything to spend time with Nero. Nico too, as she was one of your best friends you often confided in.

You looked over your shoulder at the van, balancing the bounty of demon parts in the crook of your arm as you waved to them. Nero smiled and waved back, before leaning back in his seat again.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry,” Nico apologized as she blew her smoke out the window, “It’s just… not something I expected from you or Kyrie.”

“It’s more complicated than that… or… maybe simpler I don’t know and I don’t want to go into it.”

“I always had a hunch you and Y/N had _something,_ what with all the goo-goo eyes you made at each other. But I knew she wasn’t some homewrecker… I did know that girl wanted Kyrie something _bad_ though.”

“What the hell Nico?” Nero exclaimed, “Look we didn’t even want to tell anyone for a while so hush up about it will ya?”

Your new relationship with Nero and Kyrie had been going on for about two weeks now. And all of you were still feeling the euphoric high of the honeymoon stage even though everything was still fairly chaste and innocent. But as happy as you were you all agreed not to make a big fuss about it. Mostly because you didn’t want to have to explain it to everyone right away. However, that didn’t stop Nico’s astute observations and constant pestering to weed the truth out of you and Nero.

“Whatever ya want,” the artisan said, “I won’t tell a soul if you don’t want me to. But…”

That “but” was harsh enough to get Nero to flinch.

“You do anything to hurt that poor girl,” she started pointing out the windshield at you before pointing her lit cigarette towards his face, “I will castrate you and get myself a new pair of truck nuts, you understand me?”

“Jeez, where the hell did that come from and what are you talking about?” Nero asked.

“None of your beeswax. Just swear by it.”

“Ok fine. I wasn’t planning on it anyway don’t worry.”

They both stopped talking as you reentered the van, arms full of goodies for Nico. You placed them on her work counter asking if that’ll be enough for her. You felt the soreness rise in your muscles after you but down your bounty. You weren’t out there fighting demons but climbing over debris and slinking through dangerous uneven terrain with what was at least 25 pounds of goods in your arms wasn’t a walk in the park for a squishy human.

“That’s just fine darlin, thank you,” she said with a smile as she rose from the driver’s seat to inspect your haul.

You sauntered over to the passenger seat where Nero sat.

“Hey,” you greeted.

“Hey,” he said cheekily, you could hear the second y in his voice.

“How much longer do you think we’ll be out?” you asked.

“Probably another hour or two, seems like the hoards have died down. You seem impatient today.”

You threw your head back in relief, stating how tired you were. Only half a joke since you saw how hard Nero goes against those demons. You would have fun playing up the theatrics whenever you were asked to do the simplest tasks, droning, and crying out about how tired and weakened you were while Nero bled from several open wounds. The rule was if he was well enough to smile at your foolery he was well enough to take the joke.

“Just sit tight, we’ll be done soon. Maybe go lay down for a bit if you’re that tired,” he said genuinely.

You hummed in agreement before shuffling over to the well-loved leather sofa and plopping yourself down on it. Your hands went behind your head, propping yourself up in a more comfortable position. You were so tired lately, and it was difficult to find the motivation to do anything. At least on missions, you were given express orders to follow that kept you busy but you could feel your battery gradually draining and you just wanted to go home before you became a burden to your friends.

You felt the van come to a sudden stop that jostled you from the apparent nap you were taking, nearly knocking you to the floor.

“Sorry bout that sugar,” Nico called from upfront, “Looks like we got a couple more bugs to squish.”

You stood up from the couch and went in between the front seats, trying to get a good look at whatever was out there. Between the flames and plumes of smoke and dust you could make out the distinct gangly insectoid arms of the Empusa. A real annoyance ever since they first arrived on the mortal plane. Unfortunately, they hadn’t been eradicated after the fall of the Quliphoth like you had hoped, but luckily they were easily dealt with.

“This shouldn’t take long,” Nero said as he eyed his targets.

He stood from his seat and sauntered to the back of the van and picked a devil breaker off the hanging wrack. You watched him load it onto his own arm. Testing out the fingers before stepping out of the van. He looked over his shoulder, giving you a quick, “back in a few,” before running off into the fray.

You took over Nero’s spot in the passenger seat, staring out the window watching him tear those demons a new one while Nico puffed on her cigarette. It was always fun watching Nero fight. How he would let loose and have the biggest smile on his face like a kid at an arcade. He ripped through those demons like they were nothing and he was damn happy about it. He knew he was skilled and he had no qualms showing that.

Nico tapped the ashes off the end of her cig. She wanted to speak, by the look on her face but couldn’t find the right words. She propped her elbow against the steering wheel, the cigarette between her first two fingers before finally addressing you.

“Look I won’t get into your business cause it’s not mine,” she said, “But you’re my friend so I just want to make sure you’re gonna be ok?

You sighed knowing where this was going, “Nico, I-“

“Do they even know?” she asked bluntly, “Have you ever told them? Even before you started this relationship?”

You weren’t a huge fan of the way she said “relationship.” You didn’t want to scoff at her however, Nico was crass and honest, she wasn’t one for deep emotional conversation so her showing her genuine concern like that was not to be taken lightly. She knew about your declining mental health. As much she was a loudmouth, if you _really_ wanted a secret kept, she would honor that.

“They don’t need to know, I never want to put that burden on them,” you explained plainly.

“But what about yourself?”

“What about me?”

“You can’t shoulder all that alone like I know you been, you got me sure, but I ain't no fucking therapist.”

“I lasted this long,” you said, “It’ll get better. I’ve gotten stronger.”

“You got better at hiding it,” Nico replied tersely as she puffed on her cig again.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, alright?” you demanded as you grew more and more agitated.

Nico shrugged and leaned back in her seat as she continued watching Nero kick demon ass. Her words stuck in your head. It wasn’t the first time Nico pestered you about being more open with your feelings. rich coming from her.

You’ve thought about telling them before, you really have. But it never felt right. It was never the right moment. There was always something in the way, something that made that dark voice in your head goes, _are you really going to make this all about you_? No, you couldn’t do that to them. Why would you make it all about you and your problems when everyone else has so much to deal with.

You remembered, back on Fortuna, before all went to hell and your home’s biggest priority was piecing itself back together, you were going to tell Kyrie. Tell her everything about the days you couldn’t get out of bed anymore, the days you wanted to just vanish from the world, the days you felt like doing something to hurt yourself. You were at a low point then and you were ready to ask for help. Too bad everything went to shit at the exact same time.

_It had only been a few days since the savior incident since the island you lived on your whole life was almost completely destroyed since you lost the closest thing you had to a brother. You watched as the people of Fortuna, now refugees in their own home went about repairing and coping. Some lost their loved ones, their homes, their businesses, some even lost their faith. Or at least had their deepest core beliefs rattled with doubt._

_The high of relief was only temporary. You were ecstatic that Kyrie and Nero were alright but it was only after your short reunion did it dawn on you just how much you had truly lost._

_Nero was angry. Angrier than you had ever seen him before. His fuse shortened significantly. He was no longer the cocky, confident, yet shy boy you grew up with. Now he was hot-headed, ready to fight just about anything. He had outbursts that were quick and violent. He would disappear into Midas Forrest for hours or even days, leaving you and Kyrie to stay up late worrying for his return. Only for him to return covered in dried blood that he refused to disclose was his or not._

_Kyrie was beside herself, constantly trying to keep herself busy, trying to find any semblance of joy in her everyday life. It was a very familiar sight to you. And you weren’t about to let Kyrie fall down the same hole as you. You stopped her in her tracks, got her to talk about how she felt. She was always open with you, having someone she knew she could confide in was a tremendous help to her. You needed her to stay that kind, joyful person you loved._

_You stayed with the two of them. It was good to know that their side of town was relatively untouched by the destruction, sure you had your own place on the island, but at this point it was more than likely destroyed, there wasn’t much there to be retrieved anyway. You quickly made yourself at home on the couch in Kyrie’s home, ready to be there whenever you were needed._

_You would be awake into the ungodly hours of the night, unable to sleep like usual, only to hear soft weeping coming from down the hall._

_You threw the blanket off of you and tiptoed to the source of the crying. You rapped softly on the door, waiting for a response. The sobs stopped for only a moment, and you heard the shuffling of a person getting out of bed._

_Kyrie opened the door only a crack, peeking through into the darkened hallway where you stood._

_“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” she asked, he voice mousy and unstable._

_“No, I wasn’t asleep anyway,” you replied, “Can I come in?”_

_She nodded and opened the door further, the soft lamp light bathing the bedroom in a warm glow. You got a good look at her face, red and splotchy. Eyes and cheeks swollen and damp. Her adorable freckles overpowered by her flushed skin. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her night gown. She sat down on her bed and brought her knees to her chest._

_“I just woke up,” she started, “And Nero wasn’t anywhere and I just… I just got overwhelmed thinking about everything and… and being alone. Credo was the only family I had left.”_

_“You’re not alone,” you said, taking your own seat on the bed next to her, “I’m right here, and you have Nero too, once he wises up a bit.”_

_Your hand stroked up and down her back, lightly drawing intricate patterns onto the fabric of her dress. You didn’t say much else, just letting her get out what she needed. You were all too familiar with that need, to just let everything out and clear your head, if only for a moment. It always worked for you when you felt overwhelmed. You would slink away, find a nice quiet spot to break down, and then return like nothing was abnormal when you were done._

_Kyrie continued to quietly weep, occasionally attempting to speak about how she missed Credo, how she worried for Nero’s safety, how unsure she was of the future. You hushed her softly, hand still running laps up and down her back as it quaked with her shaky breaths._

_“I know,” you said, “I’m worried too. I know a lot has happened but we need to work on moving forward. That’s what credo would have wanted right?”_

_She sniffled again and nodded. She looked at you with her watery amber eyes. They looked like melting honey in the low light. God, what you wouldn’t give to kiss her right now. To do anything you could to make her happy and show her every ounce of your love. But no you couldn’t do that. That was Nero’s job. But that dumbass wasn’t here right now._

_“Do you want me to stay with you?” you asked._

_“Yes, please,” she replied._

_You crawled into the center of the bed, nestling yourself into the covers and holding out your arms for Kyrie. She met you in the middle, cuddling into your side and letting your arms embrace her fully. She rested her head on your chest, and you could feel her breath begin to slow and even out. You smiled down at her. You lived for moments like this. But you still felt a pang in your chest._

_You’ve always wanted to be the one held._

_This wasn’t the first time you had cuddled together. You both often found comfort in each other’s arms, whether it be when one of you was feeling down. You had many sleepovers growing up that involved Credo finding you two and Nero in a pile of blankets and pillows together, curled up on each other like a litter of kittens. There were more than a few pictures of you three bundled up together that were cherished as childhood memories._

_Kyrie snuggled closer to you, one of her legs wrapping around yours and she finally nodded off. You pulled a loose blanket up and over her body, tucking her in and settling down yourself._

_You stayed awake long enough for you to hear the front door open and shut, followed by a barrage of light yet angry footsteps. You watched the door as Nero stepped through, his snowy white hair, peppered with red flecks and a stubborn scowl still present in his brow. He looked to you and then to Kyrie’s sleeping form and back to you._

_You glared at him, placing your index finger to your mouth._

_“She’s asleep, go take as shower,” you said plainly and quietly as not to disturb the sleeping songstress._

_Nero huffed through his nose and made way for the connected bathroom. You heard the shower begin to run and shushed Kyrie back to sleep as she stirred in your arms._

_Nero exited the bathroom, dressed only in sweatpants as he threw his dirty clothes into a nearby basket. You looked at him as he moved, his muscles shifting under his broad shoulders. The light bathing him his heavy shadows, highlighting each rise and fall of his musculature. You shifted your gaze when he looked back at you, praying that he didn’t catch you staring._

_He just stood there for a moment, watching the two of you, not saying a word._

_“Just get in the bed, Nero,” you hissed in a whisper, “She needs you too.”_

_His eyes fell and his brow relaxed as he moved under the covers. The bed shifted and Kyrie stirred again but settled when Nero’s strong arms wrapped around her and his nose nuzzled into her auburn hair. He peaked at you from over her shoulder._

_“You staying here tonight?” he asked lowly._

_“If you’ll have me,” you replied._

_He nodded and rested his head down on a pillow. You did the same and you reached across Kyrie and found your fingers carding through Nero’s still damp hair. He looked at you through half closed eyes._

_“It’s not your fault,” you whispered, “You did your best, and you saved so many people, including Kyrie.”_

_He was silent, and you noticed how his breath picked up by the quickening movement of his shoulders. His eyes started to glaze over with that familiar glassy coating of unshed tears._

_“Credo would be proud of you, Nero. He’d want you to keep going I just know it.”_

_He was silent for another moment._

_“Thank you, Y/N. For everything.”_

_You smiled at him and watched as he too was taken by slumber. You watched them both for a while. This wasn’t so bad. If you could be that little bit of light that helped them keep going. The guided them in their dark times. Then maybe your own problems would stay in the shadows._

_You hoped._

You felt your eyes start to water and your nose start to prickle.

“I’m sorry, darlin, I didn’t mean to make you upset,” Nico apologized.

“No, Nico you’re fine,” you said shakily, “I just… They make me so happy. They make everything better. I don’t feel like I’m about to drown when I’m with them. I want to make them happy. And to think that I’m worth being with. I can’t lose them. I know I sound pathetic and insane but I really can’t.”

Nico stared at you in silence, a look of pity gracing her eyes.

You looked out the windshield eyes widening as you noticed Nero approaching. You stood from the passenger seat and raced to the minuscule bathroom before he entered the van. You ran the tiny faucet, putting cool water on your face to prevent the rosiness from spreading across your cheeks. You could hear through the thin wall’s Nero’s usual boasting about his skills. It was so adorable how he got so excited about the things he loved; you couldn’t stop the smile from pulling at the corners of your mouth.

You exited the bathroom when you felt your face was clear enough, greeting Nero and telling his how good he looked out there. You could tell he was pumped and still full of energy. He placed a kiss on your forehead and smiled at you.

“I’m ready to go home,” he said.

“Me too,” you agreed.

Nero took his normal seat upfront and you settled back down to the couch. Nico began backing up and van and driving you and Nero back to the townhouse. A few minutes into the ride the phone rang.

“Devil May Cry?” Nero answered, “Oh hey Kyrie.”

You perked up.

“Yeah we’re on our way back… I know it’s taking us longer than usual but we’re coming home now… Hehe… Alright I gotcha… I’ll tell her too… Okay, love you.”

Nico made an exaggerated gagging face that brought a chuckle out of you.

“She says we owe her cuddles and a movie for taking so long and making her worry,” he explained.

“Well we have a debt to pay then,” you joked as Nico continued speeding down the road


End file.
